And all my days are trances,
And all my nightly dreams
Are where thy grey eye glances,
And where thy footstep gleams--
In what ethereal dances,
By what eternal streams.
~EDGAR ALLAN POE, To One in Paradise

Welcome to the Realm of My Subconcious

Welcome to the Realm of My Subconcious
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Sleep Paralysis, my regular guest

Is it a friend or a foe?

It has gotten to be both for me. I used to be scared out of my wits and rather annoyed each time it happened and it happens to me all the time. I can't remember the onset of such phenomenon in my life but I know that I've been experiencing it as far as I can remember. I remember talking to my cousin about it in gradeschool, and him having the same thing and him suggesting that I try my best to move a pinky finger first.

My experience has gone from innocent paralysis when I was younger --with me waking up and wondering what went wrong then shrugging it off, to the scary kind -- a really deep dreamy state with the experience seemingly real to all senses especially visual, auditory, and tactile. The scary part is trying to wake up from it and struggling with all my might. Sometimes, there's seems to be something really heavy on top of my comforter, like this morning.

The good thing I guess, is that, through the years, I have learned to "train" my psyche to be conscious and aware such that I will recognize that I am undergoing sleep paralysis while it happens. For the past months (maybe couple of years?), I've been recognizing it in my sleep and I learned to calm myself and think,"It's one of those again. I must relax and sink back to regular sleep so I will wake up normally in no time, because forcing to wake up will not do me any good." I have learned to PRAY during these moments too. Saying, "Jesus, please take care of me and let me go back to regular sleep so I can wake up without any complications." And usually I would fall back to sleep -- sort of unconscious and sleepy, without the recognition of dreams -- and then I'll wake up. For some reason I would also silently (perhaps subconsciously) think in my sleep to say...time to wake up. And usually, after sleep paralysis, I find myself trying to be in sync in finding that window of waking up in a normal way, moving and all that.

I'm trying my best to describe this phenomenon though it might be hard to comprehend for those who hasn't experienced it. But I'm positive that those who have been experiencing this can understand me fully.

This morning, I had the same thing. But the convoluted part was, while it was happening, I recognized it and was going through my routine of calming myself in my mind and convincing me to just let sleep take over, when I had a dream that I was doing the routine successfully enough, and waking up normally, but since it was a dream in a dream, it felt so real. Like I moved and sat up from the bed but it sure felt like only a part of me was moving. I'm not talking about a body part. I'm talking of 100% all my body parts, but a different dimension. Like I could also feel that I was lighter than the physical state, akin to air, while also feeling that I'm 100% of me (body parts-wise) is also laying down heavily on the bed. I just knew it was hard sitting up while leaving physical molecules behind. HAHAHA.

Was this an astral phenomenon or merely a weird dream? I'm not scared, but I'd settle for the weird dream. Although I am aware that it could be both. I'm thankful I woke up okay. Always thanking God for waking up to a bright new day.

Don't be all freaked out or anything. It doesn't happen to me everyday.

2 comments:

  1. http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-with-Sleep-Paralysis

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey! This happens to me as well. Not as much anymore but I can relate. It's scary. When I was in gradeschool, I thought 'bangungot'. Later on ko na lang nabasa yung sleep paralysis.

    J

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