Philippines

I just wrote here yesterday that I haven't remembered my dreams -- seemingly not having had any dream at all, and I woke up this morning suddenly remembering bits and pieces! I'm over the moon! What a coincidence. The workings of the mind are really puzzling, and amazing.

Anyway.

In my dream, my hubby and I were on a short visit to Philippines (similar to our visit in 2008) and I remember having sad feelings that the visit is too short. What I can remember is having been able to spent one straight week in my hometown Batangas where we had so much fun and family bonding with my sisters and my parents.

The trip was ending and I was getting sadder and sadder about the thought of leaving. I remember packing the suitcase. I had the suitcase wide open on my old bed, and I temporarily rested my glass of wine on it while I did other things. It was so vivid, even seeing that almost empty glass sitting inside the left corner of the suitcase (the suitcase was still disorganized without much stuff in), and me making sure it doesn't get knocked down and spill.

Then my sister Trina approached me. She seemed to be in highschool still (she's married now) and while we were looking out my bedroom window, she showed me a "mimeographed" handout in recycled paper, reminiscent of our old test papers back then. She was complaining that her project assignment was a Christmas Tree made of cherries. She didn't want it to look red, because she said a Christmas tree should look like a Christmas tree -- green leaves and all.

Then we were leaving for Manila and soon to the airport, I told everyone I wanted to stop by my mom's work (at the bank) first to spend a little more time before I say goodbye. (but my mom has been retired for more than a decade now!)

Those are the things I can remember so far. I am not surprised that I dreamed of this because I was just talking to my mom last night. Plus, I've been realizing lately how much I miss my parents and wish I can be there for them now that they are getting older. As to why I've been dreaming of old memories - my sister being young and my mom still working, I don't know. It's a puzzle to me. Perhaps it's just long-term memories coming back, as my growing homesickness subconsciously digs it up. I've been having little recollections here and there of my childhood, triggered by different stimuli for my senses, a smell, some food, an image, even the weather and the look of the sky -- all a pleasure to have!

Wanting to visit my mom at work before I left? It represents only one thing...that I'm pining to spend each little time I can get to be with her. And my dad too. (Although perhaps it was only my mom I was going to visit that day because she's more the obvious emotional one and I wanted to appease her feelings too -- which applies to this day) But in that dream, it was really more of wanting to spend every little time left. I'm always scared of having very little time left with them. That thought eats me up most of the time.

And my sister and her Christmas tree, it's very real in a sense that it reminds me of how she stands by her principles in life. And how she'd fight for them, stick for them all the way.

The wine? I was just drinking wine last night when because hubby cooked some steak. I sometimes do anyway to wind down after a hard day's work. Or when the mood calls for it.

And why I was visiting Philippines? My brother-in-law and his wife are there visiting some folks. Perhaps I wish I was visiting at this time too. No, not perhaps.