A Consoling Hug

I hate it when I wake up and 5 minutes into awake consciousness , the movie in my sleep simply fizzles out of my memory.

The only image I remember from my dream last night was being physically there to console the family (some distant relatives of ours) especially Eric and Abigail because their 30-yr old brother, Jason (my sister's friend) passed away recently (My mom told me the news on the phone last night before I slept). All I can remember was...trying to figure out who to hug first. Abby or Eric? I was reluctant because in reality, I was really never close to them. We have just recently reconnected in Facebook. I picked Eric to hug first because he's the older one. They were really sad in my dream and I didn't know what to say.

That's all I could remember.

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Facebook. That's most likely the reason why thoughts of them have been floating around in my subconsious. Plus the fact that I talked to my sister Trina about Jason and she told me that she was going to the wake. I felt really sad to find out such a young man (as old as my youngest sister-- 30 yrs. old).

The nice part was being there, consoling them in their grief. The reluctance on who to hug first. That's so "me". I would be reluctant not because I'm stuck up, but because sometimes, I'm not sure if people will remember me. Maybe, I'm really shy. Maybe I don't believe much in myself. Or maybe, I just really want to be valued in this life - remembered, acknowledged, treasured.

On the other hand, I would like to believe this proves true the view that the doctor at work and I share (we've had good conversations about this): THOUGHT IS REAL, PHYSICAL IS THE ILLUSION.

If I want to be somewhere, that means I am really there. Dreams could be real. If I hugged someone in my dream, that means I really hugged the person. It doesn't necessarily mean it has to be the kind of hug that we grew up knowing. It could be a cosmic hug that defies physical boundaries. I believe it. Many times in my sleep, I hugged my parents (continents away) in my dreams. Upon waking up, I'm always 100% sure they felt it.