Swimming (across the Atlantic?)

Weird. In my dream, my cousin Eric, his friend with a baby boy, my husband and I went on an aqua adventure. But prior to that, I can't remember the images but I know we were somewhere else on vacation and there were other people too but so far they have slipped into forgottendom.

I just remember being on an island, and in a friend's resthouse. Her mom (seemed like Arnold's mom) was cooking for us as we were planning our ocean escapade. Eric wanted us to cross the ocean to the other island which was hundreds of miles away. He said it was going to take only two hours and we will be wearing our life jackets anyway and we all agreed. I (for some surprising reason) also agreed even if I'm scared of the deep blue sea. In my mind I was hesitant but I decided to soldier on and thought that if I couldn't swim further, then I'll just hold on to my hubby's swim shorts and get dragged along. We were also convincing my cousin's friend to feed his baby with another bottle of milk before the adventure since he's bringing the baby along, strapped to his back while he swims. Realistically, no one will really do that unless one is jumping off a sinking ship or something.

Strange.

Another strange thing too was we went out to inspect a large ship (like the USS Hornet) docked to the shore. It was sitting on a huge glass board/sheet and I told them not to move too much or else the ship might sink. There really was no logic to it. The ship was going to float, regardless, right?

I see a pattern here, with my previous dreams (y'know, driving, cycling...and now swimming?) I'm usually scared, sometimes hesitant, yet soldiering on because that is what's expected of me. I usually just come up with a game plan on how to go about these scary things. Do these dreams demonstrate the phenomenon whenever I cross beyond my comfort zones? I have a tendency to do that.

Am I a scaredy-cat behind a tough-cookie-esque persona? Or do these dreams just show how courageous I can be. After all, when you're courageous, you're courageous. There are no in-betweens. I guess it's true. Brave people get scared too. But we get over it.

BFF

Not so long ago, I wrote about my BFF on my other blogsite during his birthday.

Anyway, I had this strange dream which seemed like it occured at dawn, as in early this morning.

Strange I say, because there are details I can't even write down here, for the protection of the people concerned. Hahaha.

It's all about past memories that came back and visited me for a while in my sleep, such as when he and I used to hang out together a lot, and I meant everyday. And how he spoiled me to bits!!! (I'm happy with my life now but those days were so special that I miss them and will never forget). In my dream I called him to ask if he brought a car to work because if he didn't, he could just walk to my workplace to come and get me and we'll drive home together in my car. Usually, he drove for me. *sigh* Those were the days! Then he asked me what I wanted to eat and I said something and he said, "Okay, we'll get that" and someone at my previous work (Amy) commented that I'm spoiled with him. Something like that. It was a flood of memories.

In my dream too, he wrote a book and mentioned me. It was a rather intimate comment which flattered me and left me wondering in my sleep, "did we or did we not?" It was really puzzling.

Then came other images, like me wanting to use our bathroom but it was dirty and there were yucky brown smears (you know what that is) on the seat.

I'd be direct. I miss my bestfriend. And I'm proud of our friendship. I can and will always shout to the whole world about it, and how close we once were. I treasure them, perhaps the close brushes with "impure" oddments included.

Ay!

Last Weekend's Dream

The only image I remember in my mind is that I was still staying with my parents in our ancestral house and 4 people came knocking at our door and they said were picking me up. They wanted me to go with them somewhere and I looked out the window and said yes right away. And then I debated, "Why will I go with them when I don't even know them?"

Was I being hostile, or just cautious? Does this one show my reservations to strangers? Not exactly to be unfriendly -- because I'm not like that. But when it comes to opening what lies in the the deepest recesses of my heart to people, I usually clam up. I find it hard to trust my life's secrets to anyone NOW after so many hurtful experiences. Or is this dream the voice of my grandmother and my mom who would always tell me to be wary of strangers... (pick who I played with etc) sometimes excessively?

*sigh*

Richard who!?!

Okay okay. So I dreamed of Richard Gomez (an actor in the Philippines), what's the big deal?

The big deal is, in my dream we were going to become "roommates" for some reason. It's like a vacation somewhere. There were images of clear turquoise beach water and other beautiful scenery. It's probably like one of those team-building seminars that I used to get suckered in back in my younger days.

Anyway, so...Duh!?! Richard Gomez!

And in my dream, as soon as I found out that I was going to be roomed with Richard Gomez, I was trying so hard to get a copy of some pictures I had "with" him when I first met him in high school (met him in real life, so yeah...), with his arm around me.

I wanted to have it with me to show him a proof that we met somewhere once before, and that we were together at one place at one time LOL. Why so important? I don't know. In fact, I don't care.

But it would be nice to find those photos again. Maybe when I come home for a visit...

Or this only goes to show how far I am from the "home" where I left so much snippets of my life. I'm struggling to have them all within my reach but they are so far that I am helpless. Surely, I carry memories in my heart, but sometimes we need to touch the proof of these memories too -- in the form of photos, a place, a little piece of fabric...and most especially, people too -- those who I love but cannot tag along with me in my own journey. *sigh*

Driving, again!?

Since I've been busy lately, I really don't remember much of my dreams. Here's what's left of the memory of my dream a few days back:

I went to a place I've never been to before. It's like a farming neighborhood deep into the boonies, but it's like a tropical setting so it must be Philippines. All I remember is being convinced by someone (perhaps a friend) to come with him (or her, I don't even remember) to visit this hut but we had to go down several little alleys in between shanties, and we were walking on dirt and grass and puddles and in my dream I wanted to avoid stepping on the mud but I had to anyway, so I just walked on and tried to ignore my dirty and wet feet. I just kept going and glancing at my feet, but ignoring that and the icky feeling that was building up.

*duh*

(Tolerance maybe? I've been pretty tried with my patience and tolerance lately, and I've been winning *pat on the back, thank you very much*...so maybe it shows in my dreams. "Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength" - Dalai Lama)

Shift to a different image. I was driving and once again scared because I didn't know where I was heading. In my dream, I was also rooting for myself and convincing myself that it's okay because I'll get to my destination (which in my dream I was scared of because the obstacle was challenging --something like uphill and snaking road and then inside a building's parking lot and out, something like that). Only when I reached the building, there were roads lifting up and down, then conveyor belts connecting to it, giving you little time to maneuver or else you'll fall off if you don't transfer the vehicle to the next zone fast enough. It reminded me of Super Mario and other video games where you have to hop from one floor to another and they keep moving and shifting so you have to time it in such a way that two floors are the same level or close enough. Anyway, in my dream, I was getting ready to step on the gas and zoom the car into the next plank, with all the moves planned in my head because I had to do it like clock work to reach the end. And then I woke up.

Is this my anxiety and fear of the unknown showing up? My courage to conquer challenges no matter how fearful they seem? Trying not to be scared and preparing to soldier on anyway?

Not exactly the most pleasant thing.

But it must be good!

What's up with the bicycles?

Last weekend wasn't the first time within a short period that I had a dream that I'm riding a bicycle -- and the same feeling was attached to the dream: I was scared of riding the bike in my dream.

Dream 1 (about a month ago) - My husband and I had to use only one car to go to work and since we worked in two different places, he had to drop me off close to a freeway somewhere and took my bicycle off the trunk and told me, "You can do it, just stay on the bike lane". Apparently, he had to drop me off at a convenient place so he can go straight to work and I just had to travel the remaining short distance on my bicycle. I was scared but did it anyway. The vehicles were speeding next to me and all of a sudden I COULDN'T FIND THE BIKE LANE and I was so scared with all the vehicles speeding next to me. I was like, "Oh no, what should I do?"

Dream 2 (last weekend) - In my dream, I was on my way home from hula practice when they asked me if I could bring the daughter of our teacher home (or it seems like I offered to drive her home). Though I believe I was a little hesitant because I only had my bicycle with me. But she agreed and even if I was scared, we rode. I was extra-careful with the directions, not wanting to be lost because I might not know my way, especially with the bicycle and the bike lanes. But I think I got carried away riding it that when I looked up on the road, I already found out that I already missed the turn and so I just had to keep going until we reached a road that's almost like like the edge of a cliff and I had to be careful and stay on track otherwise I might fall on the water. I kept going and kept trying hard not to fall on the side, which was difficult because I wasn't very skillful at maneuvering mountain bikes (EVEN IN REAL LIFE!)

That's all, folks. Just baring it all, whatever that bicycle meant!